Pondering the Decisions..

So much on my mind. So much not going right... 
Here's part of what's up: my mum was talking to some company on the phone about bills last night, afraid about losing the house, trying to make partial payments on bills, and trying to figure out which bills NOT to pay. I've seen the overdue notices lying around, she hasn't been over reacting about this one. In fact, she seems less worried about it than me. Almost $2,000 behind on bills, and there's not much I can do to help, I'm still looking for a job, but still getting nowhere at this point. I previously asked if I could help improve her horrible organization and spending habits, but she refused. Mum told me she's going to cancel the landline, yet she's still talking on it, same with one of my sisters. The mum and I had a little argument about the whole sitch, which obviously did less than help. One question that lingers in my mind is: "What's Christmas going to be like this year?" A bike, I just wanted a bike, that's it. I might as well forget that. I hate it when she spends money on things nobody in this house wants or needs, and concerning Christmas, I'd much rather have one thing I want rather than a bunch of things I don't want. We'll see how it turns out when the time comes. But still, I just want a bike and a job right now. Simply, I'd love to get rid of all the shit we don't need around here, and keep and get things that are actually important, BUT I'M NOT THE HEAD OF THIS HOUSE. I sure as hell would love to be, things would look very different if things were ran my way... I'm impatient to leave this place.


The decision on my mind concerns my veganism. I haven't eaten meat in.... 8 months now? I know it probably isn't a big deal to most others, but it is to me being that I've felt very strongly about it. Now, the problem is, I'm intaking to many carbs and not enough protein, mostly because non-animal protein products are to expensive (and I still don't have a job, so I'm not the one buying groceries.) My sis has started eating meats again, and she's lost weight and is looking good, I'm proud of her.(: But I'm going the opposite way./: I taught myself to find meat repulsive, (Ick, meat:P) so I don't know how I'll do... And I surely don't want people to ridicule my decision, but it's my decision... What to do? What to do?


Au revoir, les amis.(:

Do something different.

I feel like I've been thrown out of a loop, but I can still be okay on my own.(: I love my friends dearly, and miss some of them, so we'll need to hang out, including the friends I haven't hung out with yet.(; I am STILL IN SEARCH of a job, but there's been no luck with that yet./: I'm impatient, I know. 


I've been "enjoying the little things" like Ryan told me, and the only thing I don't like about that is telling a person something like, me being so excited because I staked all my textbooks on the ground so I could stand on top of them to get a book out of the top part of my locker because I'm to short to reach it.(X Ohh welll.(:


I even got a new email address, and I guess I'm happy about that too.(: OH, and I got to manually organize and re-download all 257 songs onto my iPod, although there were a few minor mess-ups.. But I'm still proud.(:


Au revoir, les amis.(:

Ahhh, I love us.(:

Finally was able to hang out at mojo with Ry, Vron, Morg, and I all together. I love those people.(: I think I'd be able to go through life with just the three of them as the closest people to me, and I'd have everything I need to be perfectly happy and content, no lies.(: If only we could hang out and actually have adventures more often, that would make me the happiest person everrr.(: 

Morgan did get to sleep over last night, and we made  a silly video, edited it, and stayed up late. I had fun, I love my wife lots.(:

Sure it's a short blog, but that's all I feel like saying right now.

Au revoir, les amis.(:

Hold on to your kite, just don't let me down

I really haven't been writing in my blog as often as I'd like to- that's the truth. But I'm trying, that's that's the truth too.(: 


Recently I've been listening to podcasts on my new iPod. I love to listen to the HowStuffWorks podcast because they discuss interesting topics from "Why do people blush?" to "How sleepwalking works". The other podcast I listen to once daily is the "Learn to Meditate", which is really amazing and I learn so much from it.. I'll most likely write more on that another time.(:


I can NOT wait to get my melodica!:D I ordered it tuesday, so it should be here in FIVE MORE DAYS! And I'm impatient. But really excited, as you can see.(:


Another thing I am STILL waiting to get is a job.:P I've been filling out and handing in applications, but STILL nowhere I look is hiring./: So I'll just have to enjoy being jobless in the meantime. 


I wonder what I'll be doing this weekend, hopefully something fun and/or constructive.(: But right now it's raining.): And I hate dreary days such as these./: Hopefully I still have a good day regardless.


I feel like I have a very sound mind (today at least) despite the despairing things that have been on my  mind which I've been trying to suppress. I've also been talking and listening to people and things which help lots.(: Friends always help.(:


Well, until next time, 
Tot ziens voor nu.(:

Officially Sixteen (as of thursday)

Sooo, guess what? 

I'm officially sixteen now, yepp. 

Spirit week last week at school was pretty cool, seeing everyone dress really crazy, the halls all decorated and what not.(: I honestly think the juniors should have won the for being the loudest at the pep rally on friday, but whatever. My birthday party was later that day, and it was fun.(: We went trick-or-treating around town in the cold, even though I wasn't cold and dressed up as a scarecrow. There WAS going to be a fire, but it was simply to windy for that.:P A couple of us went on the trampoline and signed my wall. I just love my friends.(: 

In addition to money, this neat art thing and birthday cards, I also got an iPod, so I'm downloading some music onto it.(: If only it wasn't so expensive, I'd be able to listen to a lot more...But oh well. After thinking it over, maybe I should have asked for a new guitar instead? To late, anyways. I do hope to purchase a melodica soonishly, but since there wasn't any at the Guitar Center, I'll have to have my mom order it for me online. I wonder how long that'll take?:P 

I'm not quite sure what I want in life, like my goals and stuff, but two things I do know I need to work to is getting a permit and a job. And I also know I want to write more music (I haven't been doing that much lately) and do more art.(:

Well, bye-bye for now, friends.(:

"Man this is good soymilk."

Life does treat me right sometimes.(: 

My weekend went kind of... really... AWESOME, right?:D 

On friday I went home on the bus with Star, and on her bus I saw lovely Tanner and Jess. (Mental Note: I need to hang out with Jess sometime soonishly) Her two little sisters had some friends over too, and when we all later went to the pizza shop, they were acting very rowdy and obnoctious. I still don't really like kids.:P But when they weren't being anoying, they were very silly and fun to be around.(:

We also went to the tennis court, and I think I'm actually not that bad.(; Except I left my keys there that night, and as soon as Stars mom dropped me off at home, I realized, then we had to go back and get them of course. I felt bad because they were running late meeting someone at the mall to begin with./: 

Fortunately all went well, and shorty after I got home, my longlostfriendwhomovedtoMaryland came over and we hung out at my house for a while. I suggested we go to Mojo because I hate being stuck in the house. We walked there together and when her dad came to pick her up they suggested that I slept over.(: I'm soooo glad I got to, Ali and her dad are so funny and so much fun.:D We went to Gus's (they have terrible fries there, by the way) and then to Giant for a Redbox movie and some food for me, being that they didn't have many vegan choises at their house. That night Ali and I watched The Lost Tribe. It was really fake, and I laughed through most of it, even though it was a horror movie. I guess I just thought it was funny.(; 

I quoted myself in the title, which I said as I was eating cereal, it was stupid how long we laughed at that.(X It was probably one of those "you had to be there" moments to understand the humor of it.(: Ali called me a nerd because I was upset that the movie didn't educate you more about the missing link that was eating people in The Lost Tribe. I guess she's right.(: Since she was quite tired, she fell asleep while watched Catch Me If You Can, a really good movie in my opinion.(: 

This morning we went to Mojo for breakfast/lunch, they make fun of me for having fries.:P 

I don't think I left to much out about my awesome weekend, but if I remember to add something else, I will.(;

On another matter, I CAN NOT WAIT FOR MY BIRTHDAY!:D But I guess I'll have to(;

Byebye for now, friends.(:

Soy Un Perdedor

I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me? -Loser by Beck


It has been a while since I've typed in my blog last. I can't exactly sum up everything that I'd like to simply, but, as usual, it's just a mix of things.
I'm happy and excited that my birthday is coming up, but still unhappy that I'm still stuck here. Maybe I'll actually get a job and veer away from this house and onto the path that I want to be on, the one I so recently told my mother partially about and all she said was, "You've got it all figured out, and I know you feel trapped." Blahhh:P


Another good thing is the book I'm reading, How I Live Now, and it makes me want to go to England all the more because that's where the setting is. Why do I want to go to England in the first place? I'll save that for another time. But of course I can't go there, money among a few other things is an issue. And maybe my life plan for the near-ish future isn't ideal, but it is to me.(:


Another bad thing is school.:P My grades that aren't so hot in a few classes, the homework that I procrastinate to do, the stupid teachers, me actually not learning anything... Stuff like that. But I very much do like seeing my friends and a couple of the classes can be good. I just have to learn to endure it all.(: 


Another good thing is that I get to sleep over at my friend Stars house tomorrow AND I do believe I am going to see my long-lost-bestest-sister, Alison, over the weekend.:D Fingers crossed that EVERYTHING goes swimmingly.(: 


I've been in weird happy moods, and that's good too.(; 


Au revoir, les amis.(: