Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Pondering the Decisions..

So much on my mind. So much not going right... 
Here's part of what's up: my mum was talking to some company on the phone about bills last night, afraid about losing the house, trying to make partial payments on bills, and trying to figure out which bills NOT to pay. I've seen the overdue notices lying around, she hasn't been over reacting about this one. In fact, she seems less worried about it than me. Almost $2,000 behind on bills, and there's not much I can do to help, I'm still looking for a job, but still getting nowhere at this point. I previously asked if I could help improve her horrible organization and spending habits, but she refused. Mum told me she's going to cancel the landline, yet she's still talking on it, same with one of my sisters. The mum and I had a little argument about the whole sitch, which obviously did less than help. One question that lingers in my mind is: "What's Christmas going to be like this year?" A bike, I just wanted a bike, that's it. I might as well forget that. I hate it when she spends money on things nobody in this house wants or needs, and concerning Christmas, I'd much rather have one thing I want rather than a bunch of things I don't want. We'll see how it turns out when the time comes. But still, I just want a bike and a job right now. Simply, I'd love to get rid of all the shit we don't need around here, and keep and get things that are actually important, BUT I'M NOT THE HEAD OF THIS HOUSE. I sure as hell would love to be, things would look very different if things were ran my way... I'm impatient to leave this place.

The decision on my mind concerns my veganism. I haven't eaten meat in.... 8 months now? I know it probably isn't a big deal to most others, but it is to me being that I've felt very strongly about it. Now, the problem is, I'm intaking to many carbs and not enough protein, mostly because non-animal protein products are to expensive (and I still don't have a job, so I'm not the one buying groceries.) My sis has started eating meats again, and she's lost weight and is looking good, I'm proud of her.(: But I'm going the opposite way./: I taught myself to find meat repulsive, (Ick, meat:P) so I don't know how I'll do... And I surely don't want people to ridicule my decision, but it's my decision... What to do? What to do?

Au revoir, les amis.(:

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