Ohhh, sicknesss...

*Cough cough cough cough* ...."I'd feel better dead."
I think I may have the flu. I missed school today, and probably will tomorrow too, which sucks because that means I'm missing some tests and assignments.): I hope I will at least be able to see the Christmas Talent Show at school on thursday.(: If I don't (even though I hear it's supposed to suck) I'm going to be quite upset if my Christmas vacation starts without me being able to wish many friends Merry Christmas, and all./: That would be a sad story. 


AND I DO HOPE I WILL FINALLY BE ABLE TO WATCH A CLOCKWORK ORANGE WITH RYAN AND MORGAN OVER THE CHRISTMAS BREAK!(: I'm in need of a crazy night with them folks.(;


Despite my sickness, I have been able to have some laughs with my sisters and mother, which is a thing I greatly enjoy, heheh.:D


While home today I've mostly just been sleeping, watching TV, texting and sewing. 


Sewing what, you ask?(:


 Just an awesome military-style jacket.(: My sister asked if I wanted to go into fashion designer when Igrow older, which I hadn't really thought about, but that's a good idea.(:


*Cough cough cough cough*
It'd be really nice to breathe, dear lungs.:P


Au revoir, les amis.(:

A blog as scrambled as my thoughts...

I'm not sure what I'd say if someone asked, "how've ya been?" ..Maybe I'd just say nothing at all. 

Yesterday I so beautifully wrote on my right arm, "I DREAM" on my right hand, "in COLOR," and plainly wrote on my left arm, "I SEE" on my left hand "in BLACK and WHITE" It surely isn't meant to be taken literally. 

I've been often sketching things in my little drawing book, very well in my opinion anyways... Maybe the reason I draw during class is that in hopes someone will notice, and comment, and maybe ask why what's what on the page.

My hair has kind of been bothering me, I want to get it trimmed.

"Santa" (mom) told me all she can afford this year for Christmas is some things from Fashion Bug and Victorias Secret because she only has charge cards for those two places, and no money. I don't want anything at all than if I can't get even the simplest wants. 

I wrote two facebook notes recently because I've been tagged in them and I want people to know more about me, being that most people know me for hardly talking. Technology is like another voice for me.

I laughed most today in Literature class. We did these skits about prejudices or something, but they were quite humorous.(:

The person that sits right next to me in Word hasn't been talking to much. Now that I said it 'out loud' I think I'll be able to get over it.

Another good friend of mine today instant messaged me saying I looked depressed today. That kid's nice, and pretty cool, I like 'im.(:

I failed my permit test twice already, going to try again tomorrow.

I've realized I'll need a job in some type of retail, and luck hasn't found me yet./:

Gatta go, blog to ya laterr. 

You really do learn something new everyday

What did I learn? I learned I can NOT think straight when I'm angry or upset. And when I'm alone or simply happy I can think better and with more reason.(: My anger sparked this morning when my mom took my phone away and told me to stay off the computer, and only grew into a fire thinking about all the things that add up and make me want to rush to get a job so I can move out of this place sooner. 
Today I've spent a lot of time on my phone when I got it back, trying to delete old texts. Right now my inbox has 227 received and 100 sent, so I still have a lot to get rid of.:P
On another note, I wish I was more blunt.


Au revoir, les amis.(;

Pondering the Decisions..

So much on my mind. So much not going right... 
Here's part of what's up: my mum was talking to some company on the phone about bills last night, afraid about losing the house, trying to make partial payments on bills, and trying to figure out which bills NOT to pay. I've seen the overdue notices lying around, she hasn't been over reacting about this one. In fact, she seems less worried about it than me. Almost $2,000 behind on bills, and there's not much I can do to help, I'm still looking for a job, but still getting nowhere at this point. I previously asked if I could help improve her horrible organization and spending habits, but she refused. Mum told me she's going to cancel the landline, yet she's still talking on it, same with one of my sisters. The mum and I had a little argument about the whole sitch, which obviously did less than help. One question that lingers in my mind is: "What's Christmas going to be like this year?" A bike, I just wanted a bike, that's it. I might as well forget that. I hate it when she spends money on things nobody in this house wants or needs, and concerning Christmas, I'd much rather have one thing I want rather than a bunch of things I don't want. We'll see how it turns out when the time comes. But still, I just want a bike and a job right now. Simply, I'd love to get rid of all the shit we don't need around here, and keep and get things that are actually important, BUT I'M NOT THE HEAD OF THIS HOUSE. I sure as hell would love to be, things would look very different if things were ran my way... I'm impatient to leave this place.


The decision on my mind concerns my veganism. I haven't eaten meat in.... 8 months now? I know it probably isn't a big deal to most others, but it is to me being that I've felt very strongly about it. Now, the problem is, I'm intaking to many carbs and not enough protein, mostly because non-animal protein products are to expensive (and I still don't have a job, so I'm not the one buying groceries.) My sis has started eating meats again, and she's lost weight and is looking good, I'm proud of her.(: But I'm going the opposite way./: I taught myself to find meat repulsive, (Ick, meat:P) so I don't know how I'll do... And I surely don't want people to ridicule my decision, but it's my decision... What to do? What to do?


Au revoir, les amis.(:

Do something different.

I feel like I've been thrown out of a loop, but I can still be okay on my own.(: I love my friends dearly, and miss some of them, so we'll need to hang out, including the friends I haven't hung out with yet.(; I am STILL IN SEARCH of a job, but there's been no luck with that yet./: I'm impatient, I know. 


I've been "enjoying the little things" like Ryan told me, and the only thing I don't like about that is telling a person something like, me being so excited because I staked all my textbooks on the ground so I could stand on top of them to get a book out of the top part of my locker because I'm to short to reach it.(X Ohh welll.(:


I even got a new email address, and I guess I'm happy about that too.(: OH, and I got to manually organize and re-download all 257 songs onto my iPod, although there were a few minor mess-ups.. But I'm still proud.(:


Au revoir, les amis.(:

Ahhh, I love us.(:

Finally was able to hang out at mojo with Ry, Vron, Morg, and I all together. I love those people.(: I think I'd be able to go through life with just the three of them as the closest people to me, and I'd have everything I need to be perfectly happy and content, no lies.(: If only we could hang out and actually have adventures more often, that would make me the happiest person everrr.(: 

Morgan did get to sleep over last night, and we made  a silly video, edited it, and stayed up late. I had fun, I love my wife lots.(:

Sure it's a short blog, but that's all I feel like saying right now.

Au revoir, les amis.(:

Hold on to your kite, just don't let me down

I really haven't been writing in my blog as often as I'd like to- that's the truth. But I'm trying, that's that's the truth too.(: 


Recently I've been listening to podcasts on my new iPod. I love to listen to the HowStuffWorks podcast because they discuss interesting topics from "Why do people blush?" to "How sleepwalking works". The other podcast I listen to once daily is the "Learn to Meditate", which is really amazing and I learn so much from it.. I'll most likely write more on that another time.(:


I can NOT wait to get my melodica!:D I ordered it tuesday, so it should be here in FIVE MORE DAYS! And I'm impatient. But really excited, as you can see.(:


Another thing I am STILL waiting to get is a job.:P I've been filling out and handing in applications, but STILL nowhere I look is hiring./: So I'll just have to enjoy being jobless in the meantime. 


I wonder what I'll be doing this weekend, hopefully something fun and/or constructive.(: But right now it's raining.): And I hate dreary days such as these./: Hopefully I still have a good day regardless.


I feel like I have a very sound mind (today at least) despite the despairing things that have been on my  mind which I've been trying to suppress. I've also been talking and listening to people and things which help lots.(: Friends always help.(:


Well, until next time, 
Tot ziens voor nu.(: